Crap did 2017 just get over

Hey readers *completely non-existent wutsoevr* !!!

So 2018 is going to start and anxiety just kicks in reminding me how time just flew past me and the worst part of this new year is when I look back all the days seem the same the order just seems to repeat

Get up after 50 snoozes

argue with myself whether 20 mins of bath is worth spending so much time on

sleep for another 20 mins

argue with myself over the actual need of a breakfast

I realise there are only 5 minutes left before my school gates close so I wake up drenched in sweat

load up on caffeine to control my inner sass nd deal with stupid people

teleport to school just in time to remember I forgot my id card nd run 5 rounds of the ground with interspersed moments of me trynna befriend the seniors to cut me some slack . 

socialize socialize and some more of it till my coffee supply runs low leaving me running out of effs to give . Let’s b honest no1goes to skool to study and honestly I am one of the smart geeky people sooo … school is useless apart from the few amazing people who just fit my inner jigsaw 

wattpad and tv shows time after which I exercise my muscles off . There are two kinds of days 1)6000 calories 2)complete starvation and exercise 

bitch about people with my chic 

sleep after reevaluating my entire life nd deep thoughts flooding in along with flashbacks of the day interspersed with how my expectations of my crush would be in my wiiilldd imagination 

So this year like all the previous ones would be a time to reconsider all my decisions and become an amazing and the perfect kid every parent would want .. for probably a week. . But this time is gonn b diff *snort*

So this year is a time to be realistic so I decided to do only a few things like be a better person and help people more (I kinda started teaching poor kids this year) … also I would work very hard and become more focused and decide what I want to do . I am torn between two choices lawyer and engineer . I hate the sound ofmy prev sentence cuz it sounds so cliche but I am hella bent on it … my dream college has always been Harvard Law or MIT

one of the fave resolutions which I am planning to stick to is … taking a jar and noting everything good that happens to you throughout the year in chips inside the jar then at the end of the year rewarding yourself with that jar and finding happiness from moments rather than gifts on New year’s … so much for being broke and unable to go shopping at this time of year .. 

 

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~ Liberty that anonymity offers ~

Give me a mask to conceal my true self

and watch my truest self rise underneath it.

 

I have an intense urge to strive for perfection    ;

but my unmasked self needs too many corrections     .

 

So give me a mask so no one would know who I am     ;

I would not be forced to be the happy go lucky I supposedly am.

 

I would be the person I always killed to be without the mask on     ;

now with the mask I can dance freely wothout giving a rat’s ass about anyone’s opinions.

 

I can scream my heart out with this new anonymity  ;

how much I would long for this unknown identity.

 

This is the perfection my unmasked vulnerable me wants     ;

not pleasing  everyone and fitting in with the size zero flaunts .

 

Oh how i wish I could start over and live vicariously with joy     ;

those jolly old days when we were kids would laugh our hearts out without trying to be coy.

 

 

 

My first blog

Hey this is insides of a life of a crxzy freak who is a high schooler . Reasons why I am doing this
  1. i heard some people talk about blogs though i dont know squat what they are
  2. the bliss of saying – i blog
  3. i need to get my frustartion out and i talk a lot but sometimes people happen to be the cause of my frustartion sooo.. a girls gotta rant right ?? yea no i hate diaries cuz 4 sum reason i get the feeling they are too feminine and emotional 4 the emotionless bitch i am
  4. there are times that i get way too many deep thoughts becuase i dont sleep at night so my head is clouded with great theories hitting me .. what if there was nothing and i was in the middle of nothingness .. would everything look black .. but black still is something and why does black have to be there why not white … what if we were characters of a very highly simulated game controlled by extra terrestrial species and none of us really “had a life” just a bunch of programmes and game addicted alien freaks …. or what if we were lab rats of some outer space stuff and trapped in a 4d universe to see our responses and behavior and we were the robots they are trying to improve by making us live here (which is why after death when we are ready to serve them we are transported to them)

 

  1. okay sorrywent off topic but … in addition to the oddities I also figure out real life problems by typing them as i cantthink straight when my head is left unsupervised by my brain .. make sense ??

    bye and i hope even if you do decide to read my blogs dont be disappointed . have a motive of being disappointed which would make sure that i will never let anyone down